A Mother’s Day tribute to stepmothers

My children recently said goodbye to their stepmother, Debbie (Debora Demoruelle Hamilton), who passed away a few weeks ago. 

I thank God for Debbie. 

Many years ago, after my first marriage ended and my mental health prevented me from raising my children, I asked God to provide a mother figure who could be there for them while I sought help in one behavioral medical unit (mental health center) after another. Thankfully, God provided that in Debbie.

When she and my former husband married, Debbie loved my children as if they were her own. The prefix “step” did not exist in Debbie’s vocabulary, much less in her thinking. As Wendy, my daughter, said, “The thing about Ms. Debbie is that she never referred to or called us her stepchildren, or called my kids her step-grandchildren. We were automatically adopted into her heart, as the Lord adopts us.” 

Beyond that, Debbie never made me feel like “the failed wife and mom.” Rather, she was sympathetic and cheered me on as I gained more and more stability and independence. She respected me as their mom and refused to come between me and my children. (Frankly, as I write this column, I hesitate to use “my” children because Debbie also earned that title many times over, not just from her biological children, but also from mine.)

Ever since Facebook became popular, Debbie consistently posted photos of the entire clan: her husband Kern, her children, my children and all the grandchildren. She was so, so, SO proud of each of them. Her enthusiasm and joy radiated with every milestone.

As I scrolled through her Facebook posts today, I came across one of her latest, which included a video with her voice in the background – an excited, delightful voice. She had a unique way of capturing both meaningful and silly moments on film. Her love was genuine, fun. My heart ached hearing her voice. How much more painful this would be for Kern and their families.

I wonder how many of you also have honoring stories about the stepmothers in your lives – whether as a parent, sharing children with your former spouse’s husband or wife – or as a child in a blended family.

Proverbs 31:28 (ESV) says, “Her children rise up and call her blessed.” What would you like to say this Mother’s Day to thank the woman who stepped in to love and care for you or for your children?

I praise God for bringing Debbie into my children’s lives and mine. If Debbie were still here, I would hug her once again and thank her for loving “our” children so well.

Sheryl H. Boldt, a Franklin County resident, is a faith columnist and the author of the blog www.TodayCanBeDifferent.net. You can reach her at SherylHBoldt@gmail.com.