Do you feel disconnected in your relationships?

Do you sometimes feel like an outsider? Everyone around you seems to click with others, but at the office, in your community, at your church – or occasionally, in your own family, you feel like an outcast.

You wish being part of a group wasn’t important to you, but it is. It keeps you up at night because you’re desperate to belong. To fit in. To be important, not in a look-at-me or an I’m-all-that kind of importance way, but in a we’re-glad-you’re-here and it-wouldn’t-be-the-same-without-you kind of importance.

You may be relieved to know that we all occasionally feel as if we don’t fit in. The reasons vary from having different interests, suffering from intermittent shyness, or a lack of self-confidence.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to belong. God made us relational beings. But whenever we’re self-focused, we come up short and risk becoming needy.

Instead of dwelling on how out of place or disconnected we feel, what would happen if we shifted our focus by seeking ways to love and serve those around us? How would it change our situation if we asked God how He could use us during these uncomfortable circumstances?

Jesus wants us to live a satisfying life, which is why He says to abide in His love and obey Him so “[His] joy may be in [us], and that [our] joy may be full” (John 15:11, ESV). The Amplified Bible says, “That My joy and delight may be in you, and that your joy may be made full and complete and overflowing.” In the next verse, Jesus commands us to love others the same way He loves us. 

How different would we feel about ourselves (and, more importantly, others) if we abided (lingered, remained) in God’s incredible love? Perhaps it would help us see others as people who need to know God’s love too. Maybe it would motivate us to actively love those with whom we work and live with the same way God loves us.

Try it this week. Be supportive of your co-workers by pitching in whenever you can. In your community, ask the Holy Spirit to show you who needs encouragement. At church, perhaps you can sit with a visitor. At home, rather than walking around with a chip on your shoulder, find ways to shoulder your spouse or sibling’s burdens.

Seeking ways to love others in the same way God loves us will allow God’s joy to fill us – and complete us. We become more purposeful and less needy. 

Instead of allowing the darkness of isolation to overtake us, as God’s beloved, let’s step out and connect with those around us. 

Sheryl H. Boldt, a Franklin County resident, is a faith columnist and the author of the blog www.TodayCanBeDifferent.net. You can reach her at SherylHBoldt@gmail.com.